In this episode, we explore the profound impact of reconnecting with your inner child and the healing power it holds. Dr. Jaap delves into the origins of the inner child concept, shares her personal journey of rediscovery, and explains how therapies like EMDR can help release trauma and rewire deeply held beliefs. Through heartfelt stories and actionable guidance, this episode empowers you to heal emotional wounds, embrace your authentic self, and unlock greater joy, creativity, and harmony in your life.

Key Takeaways:

• Learn what the inner child is and how disconnection from it can affect your emotional well-being.
• Discover how EMDR therapy can help process trauma and release limiting beliefs.
• Understand the steps to reconnect with your inner child, including identifying lost qualities and building a relationship with her.
• Gain insights into how healing your inner child can transform your approach to relationships, work, and personal growth.

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Full Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00] What's she like? Your inner child? Your younger self? Is she playful? Funny? Adventurous? I'm Dr. Jha, board certified psychiatrist. Welcome to the podcast where we tackle anything standing in the way of your maximum abundance, your best health, and harmony. Here, I share with you what I learned in 30 years of seeing thousands of patients.

and what I continue to learn. The inner child. Carl Jung, the psychoanalyst, is thought to have come up with this term to describe an unconscious archetype, a subconscious personality that contains childhood emotions and memories. All of our creativity, our curiosity, our innocence,

So our fears, loneliness, anxiety, and shame that we experienced as children. Inner child work is well known now, and most people [00:01:00] focus on the wounding of the inner child and how to heal those wounds. EMDR and other trauma based therapies can be very effective at clearing traumas. I'll give you my example.

you When I was six years old, all was going well for me. I was living in Chandigarh at my grandmother, my nanny's house, and my parents decided to emigrate to the U. S., but they didn't tell me where we were going. I thought we were just going on vacation, and I was a little confused as to why everybody was crying when we left.

I have no memory of this, but apparently when we landed in the U. S., I was very upset, crying and carrying on. I heard that story from relatives who'd been told by my mother. That point changed everything for me. I looked the same on the outside, but on the inside I changed completely. EMDR could be very helpful to resolve such a trauma.

The brain has a natural processing system for [00:02:00] information, but if a trauma occurs, the system freezes. The trauma isn't processed in the normal way, and the trauma gets frozen in time, stored in the limbic system, the emotional part of the brain. And then this frozen part can continue to impact us in a number of ways.

Something in the environment triggers us and we respond as if we were back in that old situation. like a combat veteran who may lose touch with his current reality whenever July 4th comes around, and he mistakes firecrackers for gunshots. And there can be a myriad of other symptoms. Manifestation of trauma, like childhood trauma with parents or in the family, which then leads to dysfunctional adult relationships.

EMDR uses dual attention. The person focuses on a traumatic memory while using bilateral stimulation, moving the eyes from left to right or tapping the knees left, right, left, [00:03:00] right. This allows the brain to process the traumatic memory in its usual manner and the trauma gets unstuck. In EMDR therapy, a second step can also be taken in this process.

It involves the person choosing differently and thereby creating a new scenario for themselves. They go back to the memory where the trauma occurred and they imagine themselves choosing a different action that changes the outcome. And they do this as they continue to tap left and right or move the eyes.

left to right. I could focus on the moment that I intuitively knew that something was amiss. We were supposed to be taking a vacation, so why was everyone crying? And while tapping, I could imagine myself running back into the house, locking myself in the bedroom, and refusing to go with my parents. And doing that could rewire my beliefs about being [00:04:00] powerless to affect my life.

And that would absolutely impact how I lived life going forward. And there's another step that's possible also. What if, using EMDR, what if we were to focus on and amplify a moment when we felt absolutely loved, protected, connected, and in control? Those of you who heard Episode 1 might remember a patient I treated, a young woman who was suicidal, despite taking medications, undergoing therapy, and having good social support.

While tapping, she focused on a moment in her childhood when she felt absolutely and unconditionally loved. That moment amplified and grew so big that it eclipsed everything else, all her traumas, her unhealed wounds. In this instance, her powerful inner child or her [00:05:00] younger self reappeared and merged with her adult self.

And the suicidal thoughts banished. It's this younger self that I'd like to focus on today. We are born with certain imprints and information genetically and energetically from our ancestors, from past lives, our experiences at the time of conception in the womb and at the time of birth, but as young children, before any major traumas, we are generally very connected with our essence, with our truth.

It's the child that sees the emperor isn't wearing any clothes and innocently says it out loud. In an ideal world, this child would grow and seamlessly integrate into older versions of self, keeping all the qualities of the younger self. creativity, trust in one's intuition, courage in discerning and speaking truth.

The reality is that most of [00:06:00] us have had some trauma, some shock to the system, even something as routine and normal as being sent off to school. More on the education system and its impact in episode three coming up. Staying with the school example, imagine a child from a loving, supporting, home who's felt protected and safe to just be.

child goes to school and all of a sudden can't go to the bathroom when needed, can't eat when hungry, can't speak without permission. So what happens to the authentic younger self of this child? Does she get locked up in the closet at home? Left behind in the toy chest with the dolls. If not the entirety of the younger self, then maybe certain important aspects of the self are put away.

And nobody notices. This is what happened to me. My younger self chose to stay back with Nani. And nobody knew, not even me, and with [00:07:00] her stayed my voice. My ability to speak Punjabi, my mother tongue, vanished. And so did my ability to know and speak confidently, my truth. When I finally figured it out, the next challenge was coaxing her back to me.

I told her I needed her. No response. I could picture her in my mind's eye, standing on the side, looking quite serious and solemn. I asked her what she needed, and in different ways I understood. A front yard fence to help her feel safe, just like Nani's house had. A swing set, because she loves to swing and play.

I did everything, and still she stood on the side, solemn and serious, and then just in the time a few weeks before this podcast. She came right in. I was reciting my prayers and when I got to the prayer, after which I'm named, my voice grew loud and in my mind's eye I [00:08:00] saw her standing right next to me joyfully reciting, singing the words and if I started to lose focus it was almost like I could see her little finger pointing to each word urging me to focus.

I share this story with you as my process of reconnecting with my younger self has been such a milestone for me. I believe it can be for you as well. Start with asking yourself if you might have lost your younger self in some way. And when that was, gather as much information as you can about her, look at a childhood picture, write down what you can remember about her, ask family members what they remember about your younger self, then write her a letter, tell her how much you love and value her, tell her You need her.

You need all of her qualities in your life today. Her joy, her wisdom, [00:09:00] her courage, her creativity. And ask her what she needs from you to come back and join forces with you, to integrate with you. As you talk with her, learn more about her, the clearer and stronger you become, you will see that you approach things in your life differently.

your relationships, your work, your health, your finances. Our aim is to become whole so that we can live our lives with maximum abundance and harmony. Thank you for joining me today. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, like, and comment. If you'd like to work with me one on one, please visit my website.

Until next time.